Chapter 2: Solitude

(Song: Nightwish - Feel For You)

Bella couldn’t believe what she had just found out had happened. Vanessa was pregnant and Jacob was going to marry her and be a father to their baby. She picked up a throw pillow and hugged it to her middle, feeling horrible that Jacob’s dreams were being interrupted so jarringly. She knew it had to be bothering him a lot more than he’d let her see, after all she knew he had always thought of things the same way she did.

Jacob would have been careful, she knew that. It was something they had both discussed time and time again. In fact, she could remember the first time that discussion had ever come up.

*****************

Sixteen year old Jacob Ephraim Black had climbed up Isabella Marie Swan’s balcony and slipped into her room to ask for some advice. Bella had been on her bed reading, so Jacob lay next to her on his stomach and appeared embarrassed.


“Can I ask you something?” He couldn’t even look her in the eyes.


She put her book on her nightstand. “Sure, what’s up?”


He picked at invisible lint on her duvet. “I, uh, I think I’m going to do it with Leah this weekend. So, I thought…well…I thought you could give me some pointers…or something.”


Bella’s eyes got huge. “Wait! Do it? As in…”


“Yeah,” he replied, still not looking at her.


She gasped. “Oh my God! You’re going to have sex! With Leah!”


Jacob cringed as he glanced at her door while waving at her. “Shh! Keep it down will ya! Do you have to let the world know?”


She rolled her eyes. “No one’s here Jacob, but okay.” She lowered her voice. “So am I right? You and Leah are gonna have sex?”


He nodded. “Yeah, her parents are going out of town this weekend and she invited me over Friday night. So…I kinda want to be prepared…you know?”


“Yeah, but I don’t know what to tell you. I mean,” now it was her turn to blush. “I’ve never done it either.”


Jacob grinned. “I know that! You would have told me if you had.”


She swatted at his shoulder as he snickered. “Ha ha, very funny Black!”


“You would! Why do you think I’m here telling you myself?”


She huffed. “And here I thought you wanted advice from your wise older friend!”


He laughed. “You’re only older by four months, but I’m wiser. When are you gonna admit that?”


“Keep it up and I’m not telling you anything!”


He pouted. “Aw come on! I just want to know how to do some stuff is all.”


Bella frowned. “Stuff?”


Jacob grimaced. “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”


“Say what?” she asked with an innocent expression, but they both knew she was anything but.


He huffed. “Fine! How do I please a girl?”


They both blushed, but Bella knew he was curious. This wasn’t the first time they’d talked about intimate stuff, but it was the first on this subject. She tried to get past her embarrassment to help her best friend out. She knew if the shoe was on the other foot, he’d do the same.


“Okay, well before we talk about that are you really prepared for this?”


He nodded, knowing what she was asking. “Embry gave me a few packs of condoms he got from his cousin’s drawer. I’ve started carrying one in my wallet…just in case.”


Bella giggled. “Okay, then I guess you’re good to go.”


“Yeah, but I just don’t wanna mess things up. Since you’re a girl I thought you could tell me what other girls might like.”


“I’m not really sure what other girls might like. I mean, mom gave me a book to read and it says some things…”


“Really? Like what? Can I see it?” he asked, excitedly.


She laughed. “Okay, hold on!”


Jacob was sitting in the middle of her bed when she returned with the book she had dug out of her closet. They sat side by side flipping through the book, giggling and oohing and aahing at certain parts.


“Are they really sensitive?” Jacob asked, pointing at the picture of breasts.


Bella shrugged. “I think if touched the right way they can be.”


“Seriously?”


She nodded. “Yeah.”


He looked at her chest. “Are yours?”


She tried not to blush. “Sometimes.”


“Wow,” he whispered. “Cool!”


She giggled as he went back to the book. “I don’t get this.”


Bella looked at the picture he was pointing at. “What don’t you get?”


“It says this is a very sensitive place on a girl, I’m trying to figure out what makes it so.”


Bella looked at the book again, it was called the clitoris. “It’s a bundle of nerves. Kinda like when your nose gets tickled by a feather…only more pressure needs to be applied.”


“How do you apply pressure with a feather?”


“No silly! That was supposed to be an example of the sensation. You apply pressure with your fingers or your…well it says tongue too.”


He scrunched up his face. “My tongue goes there?”


Bella rolled her eyes. “Oh please! I know you’ve heard of blow jobs!”


Jacob gaped at her for a split second. “Okay, point taken.”


“Thought so!” she smirked.


He shook his head. “This is complicated! How am I gonna know when to do that? Or even if she’s enjoying it?”


Bella sighed as she thought about it for a bit. “I guess you do this sorta at the beginning…I think it’s called foreplay…you know? To get her ready? Then I guess it makes the actual sex easier for her and you. I’m sure she’ll let you know if she’s enjoying it. Just ask her to tell you, I guess.”


Jacob scowled. “No wonder mom keeps telling me sex is too emotional to do until you’re ready! Geez!”


Bella laughed. “Having second thoughts already?”


He shook his head. “No way! I just didn’t think it’d be this complicated! It’s never complicated when I…um…you know?”


She blushed along with him. “Jerk off?”


“Yeah…that.”


She shrugged. “I’ve heard it’s always easier for guys, but I’ve never had a problem myself.”


Jacob’s eyes grew large. “You mean you…”


Bella nodded. “Yeah, I’ve um…touched…myself.”


“Wow!” he breathed. “So, you know about the sensitive bundle of nerves then?”


“Yeah, that’s why I told you about the feather…”


Jacob glanced down at the book before he swallowed. “Bells?”


“Hm?”


He was blushing even more. “Could you…I mean would you show me…how to touch it…I mean…”


She glanced up at him and saw how red he was. It made her smile and blush at the same time. Looking at the clock, she was grateful to see it would be hours before her parents got home.


“Okay.”


He stared at her in shock. “Seriously?”


She nodded. “I’ll show you if you show me too.”


He grinned. “Deal!”


Jacob got off of her bed and moved to the chair in the corner. Bella stood up and began to undo her shorts, just as he undid his own. She stepped out of them before she began to blush. Jacob had seen her in her underwear and in bikini’s before, but never naked.


“Could you turn around for a second?”


Jacob paused in removing his boxers. “What? Are you sure you want to do this? You know we’re gonna have to see each other naked for this.”


“I know, but I want to ease into it okay? Just turn around Jacob!”


He sighed and turned his back to her. She quickly stepped out of her underwear and slipped under the duvet.


“Okay, you can look.”


He turned around and frowned at what he saw. “Bella maybe we should just…”


“No Jake! Just give me a minute!”


He arched an eyebrow. “Would it make it easier if I got undressed?”


Bella bit her bottom lip. “Um…okay.”


She looked away as he stepped out of his boxers and sat down in the chair. “Bells?”


She flicked her eyes to his, avoiding looking at anything else. He smiled and blushed.


“I don’t mind if you look. Maybe it’ll make you feel more comfortable.”


She nodded hesitantly before lowering her eyes. He was still wearing his shirt, but naked from the waist down. Her eyes grew large as she watched his penis expand.


“Wow! That’s…um, does that hurt?”


He gave a nervous laugh. “Only if I don’t do something about it.”


Bella swallowed. “Right, well don’t let me stop you.”


Jacob could tell Bella needed to be put at ease, so he decided to take the lead. Placing his hand around his still expanding penis, he began to stroke it slowly at first. He lowered his gaze to his working hand, feeling more comfortable not looking at her gawking at him. Putting her out of his mind, he concentrated on stroking himself for pleasure.


Bella couldn’t take her eyes off of Jacob’s hand. For that matter, she couldn’t take her eyes from any part of him. She was entranced by the way his hand moved over his thick shaft and by the spots of color that rose in his cheeks from the effort. She noticed that his breathing was coming faster even as his neck and chest muscles began to strain. His eyes went half-mast and his lips parted slightly as his hand sped up even more.


She could see something glistening from the tip of his shaft and felt an answering wetness between her legs. Without thinking, she spread her legs and began rubbing her bundle of nerves with her finger.


“Bells,” Jacob groaned, “you said you would show me…if I showed you!”


Bella refused to be called a coward, so she pushed the duvet off of her at that point. She shifted so that he would have a better view and continued stroking her nub even as she watched him. Jacob slowed down his stroking as he watched her fingers move over her slick flesh.


It was his turn to become entranced with her movements. He watched as she dipped her fingers in her wetness before moving them back to the apex of her mound. He could see the little bundle as it swelled from the strokes of her fingers.


(Song: Evanescence - Solitude)


He swallowed. “Can I touch you?”


She nodded at his whispered words.


Jacob rose slowly from his chair and knelt between her legs. Hesitantly he reached out and replaced her fingers with his. He could feel how slick and soft she was there.


“Wow,” he breathed, “so soft!”


Bella let her head fall back on the bed and closed her eyes trying to ignore the fact that it was her best friend who was touching her. She simply tried to just feel and nothing else. Soon, she knew she was going to have to say something because her body needed more.


“Um…can you make circular motions?”


His fingers moved. “Like this?”


“A…little lower.”


“Here?”


“Oh God yes!” She gasped as she spread her legs wider.


Jacob couldn’t help but grin at her reaction. So that was how you pleasured a girl. This wasn’t so bad! He began to watch Bella’s face and body as well as listen to the sounds she made and realized those things would tell him what to do next.


He varied his strokes and caresses, figuring out what worked for what reaction until he heard her moan.


“Ugh, Jacob! I can’t take this anymore!”


At first he was going to ask what he was doing wrong until he realized she was saying what he often thought when he was ready to blow his load. That made him decide to try something else. He slid his fingers down her folds and gently slid one digit inside of her. Her eyes popped open as she stared at him.


“What are you doing?” she gasped.


“Learning how to pleasure a girl,” he murmured, “how am I doing?”


His finger slid in and out of her, brushing against the walls of her opening. She shuddered and lowered her head back to the bed.


“It’s okay,” she mumbled.


“Just okay? Hm, guess I have to do something about that.”


Bella moaned as he slid two digits inside of her and picked up the pace. “Ooooh!”


“Better,” he commented.


A few moments later, Bella gasped again when she felt something warm and slick brush against her bundle of nerves. When she felt Jacob’s breath against her folds, she knew he was now using his tongue to pleasure her. Her fingers grabbed the duvet as she bit her bottom lip to hold in her cries.


“Jake,” she gasped, “Oh Jake!”


Jacob took that to mean he was doing a good job and continued to experiment on her. He flicked his tongue over her nub, swirled it around and even sucked the little bump into his mouth while his fingers continued a rapid plunder of her depths. The last combination served to make her bow off the bed with a cry of his name as well as produce a rush of liquid that gushed from her core to coat his fingers.


He lifted his head to stare at his best friend who was now a quivering mass on her bed with a dreamy look on her face. He grinned. Oh yeah, he was the man! Wiping his face and hands on his t-shirt, he crawled up to lay besides her. Her eyes were now closed, but that didn’t stop him from speaking.


“Guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.”


She shook her head. “No, you were…wow!”


She was still breathless. He sighed as he rolled on his back.


“Thanks Bells.”


She was silent before she rolled to look at him. “What about you?”


He blinked. “Oh, I’m okay.”


She frowned. “I could try to give you a blow job…if you want.”


He shook his head. “No really, it’s okay. At least I know I can please a girl now, so I’m good.”


Bella swallowed. “Jacob? Um…I know this may sound weird…but I was thinking…”


At her pause, he gave her a puzzled look. “Just spit it out Bella.”


“Did you want Leah to be your first? I mean did you want to lose your…virginity to her?”


He leaned  back to stare at the ceiling. “You know, I never really thought of it like that. I know I want to have sex with her, but I didn’t plan on her being the first. She just is, I guess.”


“Right. Okay.”


He frowned. “Why’d you ask?”


Bella shrugged. “Just wondering.”


He rolled onto his side and narrowed his eyes. “Uh uh! What are you thinking Bells?”


“Nothing.”


He continued to stare at her, so she blurted it out in a rush. “Iwasthinkingwecouldbeeachother’sfirst.”


Jacob continued to stare at her until he deciphered what she’d been trying to say. Once he got it, he remained there thinking about it before he realized she had a point. What better way to lose your virginity than to your best friend? After all, they had practically shared everything else in their lives.


“I think you’re right,” he murmured.


Her eyes widened. “Really?”


“Yeah,” he leaned over her to look deep into her eyes. “But you have to be really sure this is what you want Bells. You know we won’t ever be able to take it back.”


She nodded. “I’m sure.”


He didn’t move for a few moments, simply looked into her eyes as if giving her a chance to back out. Then he sat up slowly and removed the rest of his clothing. He got up to retrieve the condom from his wallet as Bella sat up and removed her own clothing. When she lay back on the bed, he held up the condom packet.


“Last chance,” he said.


She rose to her elbows. “I’m ready Jake.”


Jacob moved to stand between her legs and she sat up, stopping him from stroking himself. “Can I?”


He nodded and took her hand in his, showing her how to hold and stroke him. When he was stiff and hard again, she let go of him and watched as he rolled the condom over his shaft. Leaning over her, he crawled up her body forcing her onto her back and settled his hips between her legs.


“You okay?” he asked.


She nodded as his fingers found her still sensitive nub once more and began stroking slowly. She closed her eyes and moaned as his fingers picked up the pace. Then, his fingers were replaced by the tip of his penis as he rubbed himself against her. They both groaned at the incredible friction as Jacob once more began to pick up the pace.


“God Bells! You’re so slick!”


Bella bit her bottom lip. “Hurry Jake!”


He responded by rubbing himself against her folds, using her wetness as natural lubrication. Then when she begged him to hurry once more, he slid his tip inside of her. Bella gasped.


He froze. “Are you okay?”


“Yes! Don’t stop!”


Jacob eased a little more inside of her, an inch at a time until Bella grabbed his hips and lifted her own to meet his. As he broke through her barrier, she cried out but refused to let go of him. He didn’t move until she fell back against the bed and looked up at him.


A lone tear slid down one cheek. “I’m okay. It hurt a bit, but it’ll go away.”


He took a deep breath before lowering his body over hers and moving his hips again. “Tell me if it gets to be too much.”


“Okay,” she whispered.


But she never did.


Instead, her hips matched his thrusts as they sped up and his thrusts became harder. Their breathing became quicker and sweat glistened over their bodies. He buried his face in her hair and she buried hers in his neck. Within moments she was having her second orgasm and he quickly followed with his own. Hers was marked by a muffled cry of his name against his neck and his with a moan into her hair.


They remained locked that way until their breathing returned to normal. 


“Still okay?” he asked into her hair.


“Yeah,” she mumbled in his neck. “I just gotta go clean up in the bathroom though.”


“Yeah, I should go home and clean up too.”


“Okay.”


He lifted off of her and began gathering his clothes while she wrapped the duvet around herself and escaped to the bathroom, neither one of them looked at the other nor said another word.

*****************

When Bella had returned to her room that fateful day, Jacob was long gone but he’d left a note saying he was glad she had been his first and thanked her for what she’d given him. They had never talked about that again and the following week Jacob had informed Bella that he and Leah hadn’t even done the deed after all. Two weeks later, Jacob and Leah had broken up on friendly terms and still remained friends to this day.

Now Jacob had Vanessa and she was pregnant with his baby. After everything that they had gone through together, how could this be happening?

She wondered if this would change things between them. Would it affect their friendship? She knew that incident in the past had changed something between them somewhat. Jacob had become more affectionate towards her and more protective of her. She had begun to be more critical of the girls he dated as well as ignoring the feelings that rose up inside of her when those girls were around.

So many times she told herself they were best friends, as close as could be, and nothing more. There was nothing wrong with holding hands, quick kisses on the lips or sleeping side by side in each others’ beds.

No there was nothing wrong with it. They were only best friends and she would always be there for him. Always.