Chapter 11: Together Again

(Song: Yoko Kanno - Good By My Master)

Jacob paced the length of his room for the umpteenth time. As he turned around to make another pass, he glanced at his cell…again. He’d finally returned home from the restaurant, upset but determined to finally tell Bella everything. Even if she wanted nothing to do with him, he was just going to tell her the truth.

As soon as he had gotten home, he had called her cell and left a message once more, telling her to call him as soon as she could because they had to talk about things. He knew she was probably at the hospital with that guy…Paul, was it? But she had told him she would talk to him later, so he was holding her to that.

As he made another turn around his room, he heard the sound of his balcony door being slid open. Whipping around, he stared in shock to see a rather subdued Bella entering his room. She had clearly gone home to change into a comfy pair of sweats before coming over, but that wasn’t what had him shocked.

He had been so sure she would have been angry at him for what he had done to her date, but she didn’t look mad at all. A little sad maybe, but not mad.

He took a hesitant step towards her. “Bella?”

She ran an unsure hand through her hair. “Jacob, what were you thinking earlier? Why did you go after Paul? And what were you doing there in the first place?”

He sighed. Okay, her voice sounded a little too hurt for his liking.

“I’m so sorry Bells. I really thought he was hurting you. I just…I just reacted instinctively…to protect you.”

She looked away as she pursed her lips. “He wasn’t hurting me.”

“Yeah,” he paused as he studied her profile. “You said that before.”

Her gaze whipped to his and he saw the fire within her brown orbs. “It’s the truth!”

“Bella, look I got some good news earlier today and I wanted to share it with you, okay? I called you, but you didn’t answer so I left a message. Then I got hungry and decided to go get some carry-out from the restaurant, you know it’s my favorite.”

She nodded.

“So I get there and there you are, walking out of it with him. You were holding hands and I just…I was shocked that you were seeing someone and I didn’t even know about it. You two seemed so close and then suddenly it seemed like you were arguing about something and he said something you didn’t like.

When I saw him reaching for you as if he was trying to force you to see things his way even while you were shaking your head no, I couldn’t just stand there! I thought he was trying to force himself on you! That’s what it looked like to me. I swear Bella, it looked bad!”

Bella sighed as she went to sit down in the chair next to his desk. “It’s not what you thought Jacob. Paul wasn’t trying to force himself on me. We were arguing, yes, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.”

Jacob took in the way she seemed to slump in the chair, as if it had been a long day and she was now exhausted. Even her face seemed to look tired with the dark circles under her eyes and her lackluster brown eyes. He sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling like a total jerk.

(Song: Nightwish - Ever Dream)

“I’m really sorry, Bella.”

She nodded. “I know.”

He swallowed. “How…how is he?”

She gave him a tired smile. “He’s okay. Just a small bump on his forehead, but no concussion. He’s at home resting now, probably asleep. He’s got to be up early tomorrow to go to New York.”

Jacob tilted his head. “New York?”

“Yeah, he’s relocating there soon. Got a really good job offer.”

Panic seized him at her words.

“What? Bella…honey…are you…” he couldn’t get the words past his constricted throat.

She gave him a puzzled frown. “Am I what?”

He took a deep breath and forced the words out. “Are you going with him?”

“No, why would I be taking a trip to New York…”

Jacob shook his head. “No, I mean are you relocating with him?”

She actually gaped at him.. “Are you serious? Of course not! I still have one full year of college to finish after this one and then I’m supposed to take over my dad’s business. My future’s here, why would I throw it away to go to New York?”

“Is that what you were arguing about? He wanted you to give up your life here, but you…”

She gave an exasperated sigh. “Jake, our argument had nothing to do with him okay? Paul and I are just friends.”

“It didn’t look like that!”

“Okay, yeah, so we were dating for a while, but we decided to just be friends once he got the offer to go to New York. What do you want me to say?”

Jacob ran a hand through his hair. “So you don’t have feelings for him?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not the way you mean, no.”

He frowned. “Then why even go out with him if you don’t?”

She shrugged. “Isn’t that what you usually do?”

Her words made him shut his mouth. Apparently she knew him better than she had ever let on. Better than he had thought she would. He sat there quietly trying to figure out what to say next. How was he going to tell her his news, then finally admit his real feelings for her? It made him wonder if she even had any feelings for him.

Any at all.

Her sigh made him look at her as she gave him another sad smile. “So, what’s this good news that you couldn’t wait to tell me?”

“Huh?”

She laughed. “You said you had some news. I got all of your messages, you know. You called when I was at the restaurant with Paul, but I didn’t answer because I was eating. Paul insisted that I listen to the voicemail at least and then tried to get me to call you back, but I told him I wanted to spend that dinner with him since it would be the last time I probably would get to see him. Anyway, what’s the news?”

He smiled. “Okay, you know Vanessa and I are no longer together right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we got the paternity tests back and found out that Vanessa’s baby isn’t even mine.”

Her eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Really. I went to give her the results and told her she gets nothing from me because of that. She admitted that when we got back together, she broke up with a guy she’d been seeing at the time. So we think the baby is his. We contacted him and he’s going to take the test to find out if he’s the dad. He really wants the kid. I think he even wants Vanessa back although I’m not so sure she’s going to like that. She didn’t seem too happy when I told her she should tell him about the baby and when we contacted him, she’d had more than enough time to tell him, but she didn’t.”

“Oh man! Geez! Poor guy! I hope it is his, if he really wants it.”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, I hope so too.”

Bella stood up. “Are you okay though? I mean, now that you know the baby isn’t yours?”

He smiled. “Are you kidding? I couldn’t be happier Bells! I mean, if it had been mine, I would have taken responsibility for it, but it would have kept me tied to Vanessa in a way. Now though, I’m completely free of her! And I can get my life back on track! Back to the way it was supposed to be in the first place.”

She returned his smile. “Well, I’m happy for you then. Congratulations, Jake. I’m really glad it all worked out for you and you got your life back again.”

“Yeah, I can’t tell you how good it feels. And I just couldn’t wait to tell you, honey. You were always the first one I wanted to share it with.”

She chuckled. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry Bella, I wish you were as happy as I am right now. I thought we could celebrate it together.”

“Hm, maybe tomorrow? It’s been a long day and I’ve still got some homework to do.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

She blinked at him. “Nothing’s wrong. I told you…”

He shook his head. “No, something else is bothering you. I know you said everything’s fine with Paul, but you can’t deny you two were arguing when I saw you. And I’m willing to bet that whatever it was, that’s what’s still bothering you.”

She sighed. “Jake…”

He reached out to touch her cheek. “Bells, it’s me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She sat back down on the chair, looking lost and he tried not to feel impatient as he began prompting her. “Okay, so Paul wasn’t trying to force you to do something you didn’t want,” he watched as she grimaced at that, “and you say you weren’t arguing about anything that has to do with him, so…what were you arguing about?”

Bella took a deep breath and let it out as she closed her eyes. “You.”

One word.

Just one word, which she’d barely breathed out, and he was rendered speechless. Him? They were arguing about him? He knew he was missing something.

“What?”

She opened her eyes, but only looked down at the floor. “It was your phone call during our dinner that started it,” she said. “We’d talked about you before, so he knew all about you.”

Suddenly something clinked in his mind. He remembered Paul’s words. “So this is the Jacob Black? He’s nothing like I’d imagined.”

That had been a clear indicator that Bella had told Paul about him, but he’d been too wrapped up in saving Bella to notice that.

“But I listened to the voicemail at his request and he asked me what you had said. I told him that you wanted me to call as soon as possible because there was something important you wanted to tell me. And it really did sound important, but I told him I could wait until I got home.”

She shrugged before going on. “He wouldn’t let it go and when we left the restaurant, he made me promise to call you as soon as I got home, so I said I would. Still, he didn’t stop there and told me that I had to talk to you about the things I had told him. I tried to tell him why that wasn’t a good idea, but he disagreed with me. And said if I wouldn’t come clean with you, then maybe he should talk to you. Of course I didn’t like that no matter how reasonable his arguments sounded.”

She stopped for a moment, quickly glancing up at him as she finished. “And that’s when you showed up.”

By the time she was done with her explanation of what had really happened between her and Paul, Jacob was really feeling like a jackass. All that time Paul had literally been on his side, sticking up for him when he wasn’t there even though they had never met and what did he do? He’d roughed him up and almost given the man a concussion! Geez, what a way to thank him for trying to talk some sense into Bella.

And then the rest of her words sank in and made him sit up.

“Wait a minute! What do you mean come clean with me? What haven’t you told me that he thinks I should know?”

Again she grimaced and he suddenly got the impression that whatever it was, it was serious and she didn’t seem ready to tell him yet. He racked his brain, trying to figure out what she could possibly be withholding from him, but still came up empty.

He sighed and shook his head. “It’s okay Bella. I get it. You’re not ready to talk to me about it. I can wait, no big deal.”

She gave him a sad smile as she rose to her feet. “We’re a pair, aren’t we? Always seeking something that’s never there at the right time.”

He stared at her as she moved to his side and kissed him on the cheek. “Goodnight Jake. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

(Song: Brian Crain - Song For Rome)

Bella turned away from him, intending to head to the balcony door but Jacob knew this was his last chance to be honest with her. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back to him and sealed his lips to hers. It caught her off guard and sent her crashing into him as her hands grabbed onto his shirt for balance.

She moaned as he kissed her so intensely that it felt like he was trying to leave an impression of his lips on hers. When her lips parted, his tongue invaded her mouth and made such long, sweeping motions against her own tongue as if he were trying to seduce it out of her. She could feel the way his arms went around her, pulling her even closer to his body making her feel like he was desperate to make her a part of him.

She couldn’t help but respond to his urgent need, allowing her body to mold to his as her own mouth fed from his. Her hands let go of his shirt to move up into his hair, anchoring him to her. She moaned again when he slid his hands down her back in a seductive caress until he lifted her up against him so that he could maneuver them onto his bed.

It wasn’t until she felt the bed against her back that she realized where they were headed once again. Knowing that she couldn’t handle more heartbreak, she began to push him away with her hands on his chest.

Jacob became aware that Bella was pushing him away when he heard her voice. “Jake, no! Jacob…stop!”

He frowned as he lifted his head to look down at her. Why was she stopping them now? Was he reading things wrong again? He was sure she had been responding to his kiss. When she had moaned the first time, he had taken that as a sign to continue and when she’d moaned a second time as well as clung to him the way she had, he was sure that meant she wanted more.

How could she not feel anything? How could she not want him as much as he wanted her?

“What’s wrong Bella?”

She sighed as she leaned back on the bed. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

He sighed. “Bella…”

She shook her head as tears began to well up in her eyes. “No Jacob, I can’t do this with you again. Not again. We’re friends…and…and I would rather be just your friend than a…a…well…a fuck buddy.”

He moved off of her to sit on the bed and gaped at her. “A what?”

She sat up and smoothed back her hair without looking at him. “You heard me.”

He scowled. “Is that how you see me? That’s all I am to you? A fuck buddy?”

She turned to glare at him. “No Jacob, that’s how you see me!”

“That’s not true! You’ve never been that to me!” he argued.

“Really? Then what would you call it?” she snapped. “A friend with benefits? An easy lay? What?”

He gaped at her. “Where is this coming from? I’ve never treated you like that!”

“Oh yeah? Then why did you sleep with me then leave without a word except to leave a post-it note thanking me for the sex we had, huh?”

“What? It was never just sex to me Bella! And I left the note to let you know that I was going to try to get rid of Vanessa so we could be together! I thought it’s what you wanted! It’s what I wanted!”

She stared at him as if she couldn’t believe she’d heard him right. “What?” she whispered.

He sighed as he ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. “When we were together like that, it was never just sex to me. Not even when we took each others virginity. I thought you felt the same way as me, even back then. But after it was over, you couldn’t leave the room fast enough and I thought I had done something wrong. Then when you never mentioned it again, I knew I was right in thinking I had read you wrong.”

Bella swallowed. “Jake…”

He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “I was so ready to tell you that I was going to break things off with Leah to be with you, but you ran and I felt like a failure. I tried to tell myself that it didn’t matter and moved on, dating others. But they could never give me what you gave me. And you never gave me any indication that I could be more than just a friend to you.

Then that night happened and you slept in my arms and I thought finally…finally you felt what I felt, so I rushed to get Vanessa out of my life to be with you, but you disappeared. And then I saw you with Paul and I thought I was wrong again. You still didn’t feel the way I felt about you…you wouldn’t even wait for me.”

Bella’s eyes were closed, but Jacob could clearly see the tears leaking down her cheeks, it made his own eyes sting.

“Why couldn’t you wait for me?” he whispered. “Why can’t you feel the same way I feel about you?”

“I do,” she answered brokenly. “Oh Jacob! I thought you didn’t feel anything for me! That’s what I talked to Paul about. My feelings for you. He knew I was holding back every time I went out with him and when he asked me why, I finally broke down and told him about you. That’s what he wanted me to tell you about. My true feelings for you. But I told him that you didn’t feel the same way and that was why I didn’t want to admit it to you.”

(Song: Evanescence - Together Again)

Jacob stared at her as her words sunk in. She felt the same way he did. All this time and they had always felt the same way about each other, but had never just come out and said so. So much time wasted, so many things they had never said to each other.

He lifted a hand to her cheek, brushing the tears away with his thumb. Then he looked into her eyes and smiled.

“I love you, Bella Swan. I always have. I’m so sorry I never told you that all those years ago. If I had…”

She pressed her fingers against his lips to stop him. “Don’t. What’s done, is done. We can’t go back now, but we can move forward.”

He nodded and she smiled at him.

“I love you too, Jacob Black. Always have.”

He chuckled as he lowered his forehead to hers. “Do you know when it was that I admitted it to myself? That I was in love with you?”

“No. When?”

“When I saw you in the parking lot with Paul. He had just kissed you on your forehead and all I could think was that it wasn’t fair that you were with him when I wanted you to be mine. It’s what I’ve always wanted, but you were with him…and I could feel my heart breaking. Because I was in love with you, but I thought you didn’t love me.”

Bella swallowed. “It was the day I tried to invite you over for barbeque ribs and a movie, but Vanessa said you had a meeting with one of the places for your wedding so you couldn’t come over. The look on your face that day…I couldn’t stop worrying about you and thinking something was going to happen, so I cut my classes and went home. I spent the day wandering aimlessly through the gardens there, thinking of you and it was there that I admitted to myself that I was in love with you.”

He sighed. “Oh Bells!”

“I know,” she whispered.

Jacob cupped her face in his hands before brushing his lips over hers lightly. She sighed as his lips continued to move over her face. Sweeping over her eyes, her cheeks and her nose. He then let his lips travel back to hers as he wiped away the last of her tears with his thumbs.

“Say you’ll go out with me Bella. You’ll be mine. Only mine. And I’ll be yours.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “I’m yours Jake.”

He smiled against her lips before finally kissing her for real. This time she immediately leaned into him, reciprocating the kiss. She slid her hands around his shoulders, holding him close to her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

The kiss deepened, but only so much. Just enough to let each other know that they were now on the same page.

Jacob was the first to pull back, nipping at her bottom lip and drawing out a smile and soft giggle from her. He brushed the hair away from her face.

“Stay with me tonight?” He asked softly. “Just let me hold you? Like we used to?”

She nodded and stood up from the bed, pulling him with her. Her eyes remained locked with his as she removed her sweats and he removed his own clothes. He stripped down to his boxers, then pulled the covers back and slid into the bed, waiting for her.

Bella gave him a tender smile as she removed her bra and let it fall to the floor. Jacob’s gaze held hers as he lifted the covers, allowing her to slide in besides him. She leaned in and kissed him thoroughly before pulling away to lock gazes with him again.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he replied.

They shared one last look before she turned around and settled back against him, allowing his body to spoon hers. Jacob reached back and turned off the lamp, sending his room into darkness before he curled back around Bella’s warm body.

That night they slept in each others arms knowing that when they woke up, they would still be there for each other. No longer just as best friends, but as something more than that.

Author's Note: As I'm sure you've noticed...there was no flashback included in this part. There is a reason for that: Now that Jacob and Bella have finally come together as a couple and have a future together, there is no reason for them to dwell on the past, so to speak.