Saturday, June 30, 2012

Chapter 10: Farther Away


(Song: E.S. Posthumus - Antissa)

Two days later, Jacob finally had the chance to make the call to his best friend. He had planned on going over to her house to confront her the day before, but his father had needed his help with a business transaction that he insisted Jacob had to learn how to deal with. No matter how much Jacob had tried to get out of it, Billy had refused to let him back out. So, Jacob had let the confrontation with Bella go for one more day and prayed there wouldn’t be any more interruptions.

Now he was glad that his father had made him wait one more day because earlier that morning he had gotten some really good news. The lawyers had called the Blacks to inform them that they had managed to locate Riley Biers, the father of Vanessa’s baby. They had even managed to arrange a meeting between him and the Blacks for the afternoon. They were all going to meet for lunch at a restaurant central to where all of them lived.

When the time of the meeting had rolled around, Jacob and his father had been waiting for Riley at the restaurant, introducing themselves as they shook hands with him. As Jacob introduced himself, Riley had almost gotten up and walked out of the place since he had immediately recognized the name. Vanessa had gone on and on about Jacob Black back when Riley had been dating her, plus she’d left him for the guy, so it was only natural for him to want to get out of Jacob’s presence.

That is until he’d heard Jacob’s next words.

“Vanessa and I broke up, Riley, because I wasn’t in love with her…and then I found out that the baby she’s carrying isn’t even mine.”

That had made Riley remain in his seat. He had stared at Jacob as he went on with the news.

“We took a paternity test, mostly to make sure she wouldn’t take off when I promised her that I’d share joint custody with her. But when the results came back, it showed that the baby wasn’t mine.”

Riley had only been able to look from Jacob, to Billy then back again, in shock. “Whose…whose is it?”

Billy had set a folder in front of Riley as Jacob had answered. “We believe it’s yours.”

Needless to say, Riley had been shocked to find out that Vanessa herself had really thought the baby was Jacob’s. He had continued to listen as Jacob told him how he and Vanessa had gotten back together and then broken up for good. Vanessa had finally told Jacob about Riley when he’d confronted her about the test results.

Jacob swore that he had no idea about Riley before then, but felt Riley deserved to know about the baby even if he wanted nothing to do with any of it. If Riley chose not to have anything to do with Vanessa or the baby, Jacob and Billy had said they would be willing to foot Vanessa’s medical bills until the child was born. After that, Vanessa would be on her own.

Riley had looked over the test results before looking at the Blacks and telling them that it wasn’t necessary for them to help Vanessa out. Riley was more than willing to take care of everything if the baby was really his. He assured them that he had a great job with good insurance to be able to afford the care of a child.

So Billy had given him the contact information of the doctor that had done the tests so he could make sure he really was the father of Vanessa’s baby. Once everything had been settled between the three of them, Riley had thanked them both for caring enough to find him to tell him the truth.

Apparently Vanessa had yet to inform him about the baby.

As Jacob waited for Bella to answer her phone, he realized how glad he felt now that he finally had his life back for good. Vanessa and the baby would be taken care of by Riley, leaving him free to live his life the way that he wanted to. He almost growled in frustration when Bella’s voicemail began, but patiently waited until he heard the beep to leave a message for her.

“Bella, I understand that you are very busy, but I really need to talk to you. Give me a call as soon as you can. It’s really important, okay? I’ll be waiting for your call.”

He pressed the end button, then immediately dialed the Swan’s house phone. The maid answered it.

“Swan residence.”

“Holly, this is Jacob. Is Bella there?”

“Oh! No Jacob, she has been out all day and I don’t know when she will be home.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“You want to leave a message?”

“No thanks, I’ll just call back later.”

“Okay.”

He ended the call with an exasperated sigh. So much for going over to her place and climbing up to her balcony when she wasn’t even there. He knew he could try the library but it was such a huge place that he would never find her anyway. That woman had too many hiding places for her own good.

He sat there trying to think of what else he could do when his stomach suddenly growled, making him shake his head in annoyance. He had been so busy trying to clear his schedule that he had skipped breakfast and had barely eaten any of his lunch at the restaurant earlier that day. Now his stomach was protesting that it had been neglected all day. Since there wasn’t anything else he could do at the moment, he decided to go get some carry-out from his favorite restaurant.

****************************************

(Song: Nightwish - Bye Bye Beautiful)

In no time at all, Jacob had driven down to the restaurant where he took his time to back into the parking space he had found. As he turned off his car, he glanced up and froze.

Bella was leaving the restaurant…and she wasn’t alone.

Jacob could only stare as the man she was with held the door open for her, then took her hand in his as they walked through the parking lot to his car. He felt his insides plummet as he took in the appearance of the man walking with his best friend. Even from where he sat, he could tell that the guy was Bella’s type even if he clearly looked much older than her. He looked like a professional businessman the way that he was sharply dressed. But the way the two of them held hands and the way Bella smiled at him, made Jacob wonder just how long she had been seeing the guy and where they could have possibly met, for that matter.

There was no way that guy went to the university, unless he was a teacher there, but Jacob was sure Bella wouldn’t be dating a university teacher. As Jacob continued to watch, the guy suddenly stopped and turned to Bella then placed his free hand on her cheek as he leaned in closer.

He appeared to say something to her that made her nod and press her cheek against his hand and Jacob wished that he could see her face from where he sat. That thought flew from his mind when the guy lifted his head slightly to press his lips against Bella’s forehead.

Suddenly, Jacob felt sick.

He didn’t want to see anymore. He didn’t want to know that his Bells had gone on with her life while his own had been in shambles. He grimaced when he realized what he’d just thought.

His Bells.


His.

As if she belonged to him.

He swallowed as he realized that was exactly what he wanted, what he’d wanted for a very long time. Longer than even he could really fathom. He looked at the couple once more and felt his heart break. It was clear that Bella hadn’t waited for him.

Why hadn’t she?

He had left her that note, telling her that he wanted to be rid of Vanessa before he could be with her. Did she not care? He could have sworn she had felt the same way he had when they had made love that night. He was sure he hadn’t imagined the way she had so willingly responded to him.

Movement across the way tore him from his dark musings and he focused in time to see that Bella and her date had stopped besides a car door which the man appeared to be trying to open as Bella said something to him. The date stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He looked at Bella with a frown and sighed heavily. Then he glanced away for a few moments as if he were thinking of something before he turned back and said something to her.

Bella’s reaction was immediate.

She began shaking her head adamantly and continued to do so as her date continued to try to talk to her. Jacob watched as the date’s frown deepened and Bella took a step back, wrapping her arms around her middle. She was still shaking her head in denial as her date seemed to become more insistent with his words and mannerisms. Then he reached out a hand towards her and she pushed it away as she took another step back.

When her date advanced on her with both hands reaching for her, Jacob had seen enough. Instinct took over. His need to protect his best friend had him out of his car and across the parking lot within seconds.

Grabbing the guy by his shirt, Jacob shoved him back against the car.

“If I were you,” he growled, “I’d back off.”

Bella gasped as her date held his hands up as if in surrender. Then she spoke in a soft, broken sounding voice.

“Jacob? What? Just…stop.”

Jacob didn’t take his eyes off of the guy he had pinned to the side of the car, whose eyes had narrowed at Bella’s words.

“What the…” he began until Jacob cut him off.

“If you ever touch her without her permission…”

Bella began tugging on his arm. “He wasn’t! Jesus…let him go Jacob!”

But Jacob wasn’t listening. “…I’ll make sure you live to regret it!”

“God Jake! Just stop it!” Bella pleaded, trying to get between the two men. “Paul wasn’t doing anything wrong!”

Jacob finally turned to look at Bella and saw the tears sparkling in her eyes. The look on her face made him think she wasn’t telling him the truth. He let go of the guy she’d called Paul and turned his full attention on her.

“He hurt you,” he stated as he watched a tear fall down her cheek.

“It’s not what you think,” replied Bella, as she hastily wiped the tear away. “Look, just go okay? Let me handle this on my own.”

Jacob glanced at Paul before turning to her with pursed lips. “Maybe you should let me take you home.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but Paul beat her to it with a scoff. “Geez, so this is the Jacob Black? He’s not anything like I’d imagined!”

Jacob whirled around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Paul arched an eyebrow at him. “I pictured…Superman. You’re more like the Incredible Hulk.”

“Paul!” Bella interjected.

Jacob glared at him, then growled. “Nothing wrong with that.”

Paul tsked. “And you think I’m a danger to her?” He turned to look at Bella. “Geez, where did you say you dug this caveman up from?”

Jacob shoved him back against the car. “Maybe it’s time for you to leave!”

Paul shoved him right back. “Maybe you should, little boy!”

The sneer on Paul’s face was what made Jacob reach his breaking point. He swung at Paul, who was quick enough to duck before the punch could make contact. Bella cried out, trying to get the two of them to stop. As Paul came up, he swung back at Jacob, landing a punch near his ribs but it wasn’t enough to stop him. Jacob blocked Paul’s next swing, then followed with one of his own. This time the punch landed against Paul’s jaw, catching him off balance and making him stumble into the car where he hit his forehead against the door.

He groaned as he held his head in his hands. “Shit! That hurts!”

Bella shoved Jacob back as she moved to Paul’s side. She lifted his head as he squeezed his eyes shut and examined it briefly.

She frowned. “You might have a concussion. Come on, I’ll drive you to the hospital.” She turned to glare at Jacob. “You! Go home! I’ll talk to you later.”

He gaped at her. “You’re defending him! After he hurt you!”

At his outburst, her anger seemed to dissipate. She let out a tired sigh.

“Just go home, Jake. I’ll tell you about this later…but Paul wasn’t hurting me. He has never hurt me…okay?”

Jacob could only stand there looking stunned as Bella helped a slightly disoriented Paul into the passenger seat and took his keys from him. She hurried around to the driver’s side where she got in, put on her seat belt and started the car. He was still standing there after she had backed out and driven away.

With his appetite long forgotten, Jacob made his way back to his car and sat in it in a daze. He couldn’t figure out how he had mistaken what he had seen. They had clearly been arguing and Paul had looked mad. He had looked like he was just about to try to force Bella to see things his way.

Yet she had told him that Paul had never hurt her. That he wasn’t hurting her. If that was true, then why had she been crying?

He closed his eyes in defeat. He knew he had made a big mistake. A mistake that could possibly cost him the chance to be with Bella the way he wanted to. Why hadn’t he just told her the truth? All those years ago, no matter what he thought she might have felt then, he should have told her the truth and let things fall where they might have.

(Song: Evanescence - Farther Away)

He remembered that day well. The day he and Bella had taken each others virginity.

And he remembered the aftermath…

Jacob had just taken a shower, washing away all of the sweat and even the sweet scent of his Bells. Now he sat on his bed with a towel around his middle, remembering the way the two of them had awkwardly fumbled through their first time together. He still couldn’t believe he had done that with her, but most of all, he was amazed that she had been the one to suggest it.


A blush stole over him as he remembered what she had looked like. The way she had been embarrassed to show herself to him, but she had nothing to be ashamed of. He had liked what he had seen and he could have sworn that she had liked what she saw too.


It wasn’t until it was all over that his doubt had set in. The way she had seemed so eager to escape after they were done had played over and over in his mind while he had showered. He still couldn’t figure it out. Hadn’t she liked it? He thought she had, judging from the noises she had made and from the way she had held him, but her reaction afterwards had left him feeling cold.


He had heard from his friends that girls often liked to cuddle afterwards, so what had happened to Bella? Was it something he’d done? Had she not enjoyed the things he did to her?


His eyes went wide as another thought occurred to him. What if…what if she had…faked it?


He’d heard stories about that too, but hadn’t really understood what it meant until now. Was that what happened? Was that why she had wanted him to leave so quickly? Had he disappointed her?


His shoulders hunched over as the pain of rejection flooded through him. Bella hadn’t liked it and now she didn’t want to face him.


It hurt.


It hurt because he had enjoyed himself…with her. And when he’d reached…that point…where he’d been the happiest…he had wanted to see if she felt the same way so he could tell her that maybe they should just keep seeing each other and he would let Leah go.


Until she said she had to go shower.


He’d gotten up slowly and stood there gathering his clothes watching as she wrapped her duvet around herself, then fled the room. The look on her face had made the last of his happiness disappear. She hadn’t been smiling.


He took a deep breath and let it out, trying not to let what had happened get to him. Shaking his head, he got up and went to get a pair of clean underwear from his chest of drawers. He tossed the towel he’d been wearing onto the bed and finished getting dressed in jeans and a tee shirt.


Pacing the room, he began to try to get over his hurt by convincing himself otherwise.


It was just sex, he thought to himself. Just two people curious about what it felt like…that’s all.


“Yeah,” he said out loud. “Just sex. Nothing more. She’s still just my best friend. That’s all she is. She’ll always be just my best friend.”


He was still with Leah. Leah was the one who mattered. She was the one he was going to be with come Friday night. And now that he knew what to do, he was certain that he wouldn’t disappoint her.


“Yeah, that’s right,” he muttered. Leah would help make him forget all about Bella come the weekend. He would be able to just move on with his life once he and Leah had done the deed.


He was sure of it.

Jacob swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and looked out at the quiet parking lot. He felt just like he had felt all those years ago when Bella had first rejected him. He should have known better than to try it again. She acted as if nothing had happened and had gone on with her life. It was always the same, wasn’t it?

When she had fallen asleep in his arms this last time, he had thought he’d done something right. That he had pleased her and that she wanted him. Those thoughts had lit the fire in him to go to his dad to try to get Vanessa out of his life as quickly as possible, so that he could finally be with Bella the way he had wanted to for all of those years.

He had been wrong…again.

And it hurt just as much as it had back then. It had hurt to see her act as if nothing had happened…both times. Even when he had told her that he and Leah had broken up and he hadn’t done anything with her, Bella had simply nodded and said she was sorry things hadn’t worked out for them.

That was it.

There had been no joy…no “Jacob, I’m glad, because I want to be with you”…none of that.

And no matter what he’d tried to tell himself, he couldn’t get over what they had shared. To this day, he still believed it was one of the most special times of his life and no matter what happened between them, it would always be something he would never forget.

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